A Dream Fulfilled

Florence, Italy

  In April 2018, I took a trip I had dreamed of taking for as long as I could remember. I wanted to go for my birthday in 2017, but it wasn't financially feasible for me to prepare in 2016. Needless to say, I was quite disappointed.  Sad, even. And also the beginning of what in hindsight, my depression-like symptoms.  Please know that my not being able to take the trip wasn’t the reason for my depression, but it certainly added to the mountain of feelings I had been experiencing.  I had spent my weekends in bed, I distanced myself from friends and loved ones, and pretty much disconnected myself from all social activities. I did what I had to do...work and return home back to my bed.  I found comfort in spending time with my niece and nephew, but as soon as my interactions with them were done, it was back to my depressed state.  I’ll never forget the holiday break, December 2016.  I spent the entire break in bed watching television.  Sounds like a dream, right? Yeah, no!    

Oddly enough, I was continuing my visits with my nutritional visits, but not working out. I honestly felt the only control in my life was cooking and it got me out of the house for about an hour on the weekend to buy groceries and fresh produce. It was such a struggle!

 One Sunday on the ride home from church, my mom had a ‘come to Jesus’ conversation with me.  She flat out told me that I was not myself and I hadn't been a nice person in a long while.  I was depressed.  She didn’t like the person who I was and that I needed a serious attitude adjustment.  I heard her, but didn’t want to hear her. A few weeks had gone by.  I still hadn’t fully addressed the conversation my mom and I had, but it was there in the back of my head.

 Surfing the internet, I saw an announcement that Travel Noir would be posting dates for their 2018 trips soon.  I talked to mom about us planning to attend their Amalfi trip and told her to check it out.  She was hesitant about committing.  Not for herself, but for me because of the amount of uncertainty I had going on in my life at the time, along with the cost of the trip. In speaking with mom about Italy, I told her, ‘ there will never be a right time to go when I have the right amount of money or where all things will be perfect’.  My question was why not go, now?

In the midst of preparing for my dream trip, I also finally dealt with my anxiety and depression with the help of identifying a therapist. It was a great combo of having a trip to look forward to, while working on me and gaining coping skills to manage my anxiety.     

I had a life-long dream of visiting Italy and by the grace of God I wanted see it to fruition.  So on a May 2017 early morning, mom and I gave our money towards a deposit to Italy in April 2018 a month after my half-birthday.  Because yes, I sort of celebrate my half-birthday.  Taking this trip was an amazing experience.  There are so many memories embedded within my spirit that they will last beyond a lifetime. I look forward to our next adventure and my continued journey to wellness. 

Sometimes, your dreams may not come when you want them, but if you keep working towards them, eventually, you'll catch them! #dreamcatcher

CHAPTER 47...

As I close the chapter on 47, I reflect upon the things I'm thankful for and the lessons I've learned, thus far. While this was a challenging chapter, I know as I turn the page to begin chapter 48, I'm ready for what God and the Universe has in store for me.

A few highlights from Chapter 47.  

Forever FLOTUS, Mrs. Obama speaking at Oracle Arena

Recommended read by my therapist

Positano, Italy

Going to Italy this past April was a definite highlight and dream come true.  Sharing this experience with my mom was magical.  We had some laughs, drinks, and only one 'tiff' near the end of the trip in Florence.  We got lost a lot and it was so frustrating. The internet was spotty, thus directions weren't directing. We both had to remember that when on vacation, one is never lost, we're exploring! I can't wait to return back to Italy.

Meeting John at our African American Leadership Conference was pretty awesome.  A key take away from his session was to recognize I'm a leader.  That I should make decisions about my career that will make me uncomfortable.  He said, 'you don't grow if you're not uncomfortable'. In chapter 48, I will increase the uncomfortable factor!   

San Jacinto State Park - Palm Springs

I reconnected with my bestie for her birthday weekend in Palm Springs.  This was our first 'vacation' taken together in a very long time.  I've missed traveling with her.  I've missed us being together, yet not always talking or laughing, but just knowing she was there was a blessing.  It reminded us of what was and what we want from each other in the near future. I got the best rest of the year this trip and I'm so thankful she invited me to tag along to celebrate her! She snapped this pic of me and yes, I hiked, a little in this skirt and sandals. 😊

I'm ready to receive the goodness with an open heart.